ANZAC Weekend - Takaha - hosted by W.E.N.D.Y and TOYBOY

$90. The Moa Shed - 56 Motupipi St, Takaha. 10.30am.

Details and photos to here Thanks W.E.N.D.Y. for writeup and photos.

Now follows Sir Creamalot writeup. 2 write ups better than one !!

It was a bit of a challenge for the attendees this year as Anzac Day was on Saturday, (Dawn Parade and day drinking at the RSA), then the Anzac Run on Sunday with no “Rest Day” in between as in previous years. The challenge was accepted however with a good turnout for the Parade on a cool but clear Takaka morning. The morning was very busy for some with attendance at the Dawn Parade, the 9:00am Parade and then over to Collingwood for their Parade at 11:30.

This was followed by a quiet bevvy at the local pub then back to Takaka for the remainder of the day. Sunday dawned fine and warmed up to a nice sunny day by mid-morning when we gathered for the start of Trail. No bus drop off this year so the legs got to do all the work from go to whoa. We meandered out of town towards Upper Takaka, then hooked a left at the Rec Centre to the first Piss Stop.

Here we had the first challenge. Frisbee Golf target practice. Get the disc in the net and have yourself a shot of arguably the finest tipple known to mankind…..Purple Death!! The added bonus here was, even if you missed, you got a drink….sort of a liquid participation certificate!! There was an impressive display of skill which I can only put down to the fact that it was fairly early in the day, however soon the emphasis turned from getting it in the net to hitting the Hashers behind and beside the target who were retrieving the discs. Much more entertaining I must say. And so with target practice over and the PD gone, it was back On On Trail. After a brief period of uncertainty at the next intersection and some guidance from the Hare, we wandered off across some farmland towards the river wondering what was next on the agenda.

It was during this portion of the Trail that several Hashers needed to partake in a comfort stop and did so in as inconspicuous way as possible……all except Pablo In De Bath, who chose the one lonely cabbage tree right next to the road just as the Hash wagon trundled past with the Hare and a few passengers who whistled and yahooed an appropriate response. There may or may not have been comments about the size of his wiener and volume of the stream – yet to be confirmed! The RA had done their best job and provided a glorious day for the run and soon we found ourselves beside the river in an idyllic spot for the Piss Stop, lunch and Fine Circle. Before this however, the next challenge was brought to light. The longest drive using a golf club and a marshmallow. I was selected to demonstrate what was involved and to be fair, set the bar rather low, but this was just to make the others look good. Participants queued up and took their turns with the distances getting further and further. The drives were measured and marked and the marshmallows were returned to the “golfer” until suddenly one of them disappeared up Sierra Hornie’s butt crack. Low and behold this one was to reappear before too long. Several Hashers took a dip in the river, which by all accounts was a might chilly…those accounts being cries of “Fuck Me” and “Jeezuzz Fuckin’ Christ” and the observation of Mudguard struggling to go further than just below his ballsack for quite some time!! Once the driving competition was over, won from memory by Fanny’s Gash from the host club, and the bathers removed themselves from the icy depths of the Takaka river it was time for the Fine Circle. As has been the tradition I was charged with holding the Fine Master’s penis until he passed it on to the Anzac Run Virgins. Sadly due to my age and failing memory, the moon phase and the economic climate in Eastern Guama I have struggled to recall the Fines as such. I can tell you however that the run Virgins DID consume the contents of the penis and some of the receivers of the Fines got to drink out of a selection of footwear in various stages of Jam production. The highlight of the entertainment, Fines wise, was when King Knobrot was made to eat the marshmallow that had for some time been residing in Sierra Hornie’s butt crack. Speaking to him afterwards he said that was nearly the straw that broke the camel’s back, and he almost lost whatever he had inside him!! So, following the rousing Fine Session it was time for a lunch of pulled pork and salad rolls, consumed with vigour by those in attendance before a short walk to the waiting bus for the quick trip out to the River Inn for the rest of the day and some of the evening. A fine establishment in the form of a traditional country pub with great food and hospitality. This was the venue for the On After with a great meal and plenty of liquid refreshments until it was time to head back to the Moa Shed. And so another highly successful Anzac Run was over as we settled in for a night of merriment. Huge thanks, yet again to Wendy and Toyboy for their hospitality and to the guest Hare, Uramit from Nelson H3. Until next year, On On and Happy Hashing, Sir Creamalot.